Monday, June 21, 2010

Batter my heart, three-personed God; for You
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me,'and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.

I, like an usurped town, to'another due,
Labor to'admit You, but O, to no end;
Reason, Your viceroy'in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly'I love You,'and would be loved fain,
But am betrothed unto Your enemy.
Divorce me,'untie or break that knot again;
Take me to You, imprison me, for I
Except You'enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except You ravish me.
"sometimes the good that we know is the enemy of the best that God has for us"

Thursday, June 17, 2010

allright. im just gonna say it.
i like you. quite a lot, and for some time now.
and it KILLS me that you might move away.
that you would even CONSIDER it makes my insides churn
because that means, quite obviously, that theres nothing here that might entice you to stay--that I am not enough to entice you to stay.
so. that shoots my hopes down, once and for all.

its a tricky thing, hope.
having even the tiniest strand of it can keep you afloat on the abysmal sea of disappointment.
and even though we sometimes doubt our hope is valid and true, its very existence is enough to keep us buoyant.
we'd rather hope--however faintly, even to the point of lying to ourselves--than be faced with the truth indisputable.

and this is the truth indisputable: my admiration is one-sided. you do not return my affection. therefore, its time to abandon this hope, once and for all.

goodbye hope.