Tuesday, March 31, 2009

"this Book will keep you from sin
...or sin will keep you from this Book."
- Vance Havner -

Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.
But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

Psalm 1:1-2

and pay attention to what you hear!

also, live in the fear of God!!!

But with you there is forgiveness;
therefore you are to be feared.

Psalm 130:4

do you realize who He IS??

Monday, March 16, 2009

i feel like everything becomes monotonous to me eventually--every hobby, every thrill, every relationship, every job.
eventually, i lose interest.
eventually, i become dissatisfied.
and i hate being dissatisfied.
but more often than not, that's where i am.
i thrive on constant newness.

what does that mean i'm supposed to do with my life then?
am i doomed to wander in endless tedium and restlessness?

life as it is now leaves me too much time on my hands.
too much time to think, to dwell on my current situations, be inside my own head, entirely internally focused,
thereby increasing my desperation for something more than this.
is the solitary life unhealthy for me, i wonder? do i need the distraction and stimulation of one or more people to keep me going?
"life"--what it's supposed to be, in my opinion--is more exciting than this.
it demands more of my attention, it demands action.
"life" means more things should be going on--more events, more projects, more things i HAVE to or NEED to do, not just WANT to do
(because i am a horrible self motivator, and things based solely on my desire to do them quickly go by the wayside...
i rapidly lose interest, even in things i love)
"life" means busy-ness, action, excitement, alleviation of boredom, thrills, wonder, purpose.

my current "life" is a mindless wandering in a waiting room disguised as a scintillating adventure.
really it's just a quasi-predictable to and fro shuffle, filled with crossword puzzles, coffee,
mindless petty conversation, and books filled with OTHER people's adventures.

i want a great story.
i want more ELEMENTS of story in my life...more elements of plot.
i want foreshadowing, inciting force, conflict, rising action, crisis, climax, falling action, resolution
over and over and over again.

basically i just want to live in a really good movie.
i want an elaborate plot filled with constant surprise and unpredictability.

maybe i need to become an actress.
oh the horror...

dear sweet Jesus, reveal your grand story for my life
cause i'm growing increasingly restless in the waiting.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.

Habakkuk 3:17-19

this is my heart tonight.

and i may not be one for the CCM, but this chorus is just too dead on right now:

as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

Sunday, March 08, 2009

hey so is it true that guys, for the most part, prefer longer hair on girls?

if youre a guy, please share your thoughts.
if youre a girl, well...feel free to speculate.

i must say, if this IS true, then i find it horribly and wonderfully ironic that i look way better with short hair.
my life is just full of ironies these days...

love it :-)

Saturday, March 07, 2009

its official.
i was right.

Jesus be glorified.
im here for You and You alone, not for...that.
dont let me forget it, ok?
i love You.

be enough.

Friday, March 06, 2009

sometimes i hate being so intuitive.

its a curse. seriously. ugh.

but whatever.
its all for the best. let it be, let it be, let it be.