I think it may be time to say goodbye to this certain chapter of my life, i.e. my involvement on the church worship team. I think it has evolved past its ability to coalesce with my chaotic lifestyle. It is no one's fault, and it was never intentional, really...it's just the natural way of things.
But honestly, I don't really know where that leaves me.
The worship team was sort of the last tie binding me to my church. It's nothing personal--I hold no ill-will for anyone or anything connected with that body. My church is full of great people desiring to serve God faithfully. But the vision of this particular body of believers was never one I totally adopted myself. It's a fine vision, a good vision, but it is not my heart's desire or my calling. And honestly, sometimes you just don't fit somewhere anymore, even if at one time you did. Sometimes we are only meant to be in each others lives for a season, and now I'm wondering if my season is up.
So what to do?
I am a firm believer in the idea that God never leads us away from something without leading us towards something else. That "something else" isn't always apparent immediately, but I don't think He usually intends for us to wander blindly in the interim. So, I suppose that means I need to wait and see and pray about whatever could be coming next.
So pray I shall.