How To Practice Being a Flight Attendant

Go to a resale store and find an old, navy suit that an army sergeant might have worn. Add a white shirt and a tie. Wear that same outfit for three consecutive days.

Go to an airport and watch airplanes take off for several hours. Pretend you are standing-by hoping to get a seat on one of them and they are all full. Go home. Return to the airport the very next day and do the same thing again.

Fill several large boxes with rocks. Lift them over your head and place them on the top shelf of a closet. Violently shove as many heavy items into the leftover space as you can without anything hanging over the edge of the shelf. Do this until you feel a disc slip in your back.

Turn on a radio. Be sure to set it between stations so there is plenty of static. Turn on the vacuum cleaner and garbage disposal. Run them all night.

Remove the covers from several T.V. entrees. Place them in a hot oven. Leave the food in the oven until it's completely dried out. Remove the hot trays with your bare hands. Serve to your family. Don't include anything for yourself. Serve your family a beverage one hour after they've received their meal. Make them remain in their seats during this time. Ask them to scream at you and complain about the service. Scrounge uneaten rolls off the plates for you to eat 6 hours later when you're really hungry. Place a straight-backed chair in a closet facing a blank wall. Use a belt to strap yourself into it. Eat the rolls you saved from your family's meal.

Ask your family to use the bathroom as frequently as possible. Tell them to remove their shoes and socks before entering, and see who can make the most disgusting mess.

Make a narrow aisle between several dining room chairs and randomly scatter your husband's runners and loafers along the way. Turn off the lights and spend the night walking up and down the aisle while banging your shins against the chair legs and tripping over the shoes. Drink several cups of cold coffee to keep yourself awake.

Gently wake your family in the morning and serve them a muffin in a package. Don't forget to smile and wish them a nice day when they leave for work and school.

After the family leaves, take a suitcase and go out into the yard. If it's not raining, turn on the sprinkler system and stand in the cold for 30 minutes pretending like you're waiting for the crew bus to pick you up for the hotel. Then go inside and wait by your bedroom door for another 30 minutes for an imaginary maid to make up your room.

Change into street clothes and shop for 5 hours. Pick up carry-out food from a local deli or 7-Eleven. Go back home. Sit on your bed and eat your meal. Set your alarm clock for 03:00 am so you'll be ready incase you don't get your wake up call. Repeat the above schedule for three days in a row and you'll be ready to work your first international flight!



(please note: i did NOT write this. i edited bits and pieces, but i cant take credit for the brilliance of this post. sorry to mislead, if i did in fact mislead.)

"The world bursts at the seams with people ready to tell you you're not good enough.
On occasion, some may be correct.
But do not do their work for them.
Seek any job; ask anyone out; pursue any goal.
Don't take it personally when they say "no" -- they may not be smart enough to say "yes."

- Keith Olbermann -

(from an old Starbucks cup i found...)

so now begins that wonderful time of year where sarah has some choices to make.
fun choices, mind you.
choices liiiiiiike.........where does she want to layover during the holidays?


yes yes, if you'll recall, my company does this lovely little thing called Christmas Wish List.
all reserves who are scheduled to work the holidays are free to submit 3 locations (ANYWHERE United flies) where we would like to layover during Christmas.
they will then try their best to give you one of your choices.
now, it doesnt always happen...i've never actually gotten any of the choices ive submitted, BUT i did get NYC my first year and Honolulu last year, so really...i can't complain ;-)


SO I NEED YOUR HELP!!
where should i go for Christmas?


this year im gonna keep it a bit more realistic.... i usually throw one wildcard in there, but this year if i do that im gonna stick with a location that we actually fly to out of our base. like Paris.

so......where else should i go?

i wouldnt mind going where i KNOW people, but then, i also dont want to wreck anyone's holiday plans by dropping in unexpectedly and demanding you take me to all your christmas festivities ;-)


so if you have any suggestions, feel free to share!
and i'll let you know where i end up ;-)

i finished rereading the first Twilight book this morning.
then i read the spoilers for the other 3 books in hopes of curbing my obsession.
i think it worked, actually.
i don't get so sucked in when i know what's going to happen...and now i wont go rushing out for the next one.
i'm hoping, if i DO choose to read the other ones, i can remain comfortably detached from the storyline and not get so entranced.
that was annoying.
and unhealthy.
i'm looking forward to getting back to reality
(well, sort of...)

nothing has been appealing to me lately. life in general has been dismal. i don't know why or when it started...but it's very troublesome.
nothing is fulfilling. everything is a disappointment, if not immediately then in the foreseeable future, which the very thought of inevitably ruins any pleasure i might find in the present.
for example, the thought of any romantic relationship is unappealing.
surely, eventually, it will fail or fall apart (if i ever even enter into one to begin with), love and passion will fade and disappoint, and i'll end up broken. dissatisfied. ugh.
i know that this attitude in particular towards relationships has really only recently been fueled by the infidelity of someone i never would have expected it from... someone who's marriage seemed unshakable because they were both so crazy about each other.
but apparently even the craziest of love isn't enough...
i haven't heard all of the gory details yet, but the very fact of it happening has left me even more hopeless and pessimistic toward love and the institution of marriage.
in a positive twist though, i suppose it further fuels my determination to never settle.
i'm holding out for above and beyond, or i'm going it alone, which is perfectly fine by me.

it doesn't help (returning to the Twilight storyline) that Edward and Bella are like the epitome of perfection, and having just read about them i have to be faced with the imperfections of reality and this recently tainted marriage... it makes it all a bit hard to swallow.
not to mention that Edward and Bella's story is also full of adventure... adventure that very much seems to be lacking in my life right now.
i'm always a sucker for a good adventure, as are probably all the other people who seem to be addicted to this story.
maybe that's WHY it's so addicting...cause our lives are pathetically boring in comparison.

is it bad that falling in love, getting married and having kids isn't an exciting enough story for me? isn't an exciting enough LIFE for me?
it's too boring. too normal. too predictably disappointing.

i guess this is why we have a higher calling in Christ and aren't meant to live for ourselves.
good grief, i think if i didn't have the hope of Christ and living for him as the reasons for my existence, i would be constantly depressed.
i struggle enough while HAVING Him--imagine what kind of shape i'd be in if i didn't!


i need someone to talk to... this is too much emotional turmoil for my lonely little self to handle.


oh and here's another log for the discouragement fire:
mom and i watched It's A Wonderful Life while i was home, and it got me thinking...
if i had never been born, how might things be different for those who are currently around me? WOULD anything be different?
i've never saved anyone's life or helped anyone make any life-altering decisions. at least, not that i can recall...
mom and dad would never have had to fork out $18 grand every year for my college tuition, my nephew wouldn't have an aunt to spoil him,
and i'm totally expendable in my company so its not like the planes would suddenly not be able to fly without me...
my parents would still be divorced, my sister would still be married to her husband and would still have Aiden...and really not much would be affected by my absence.
any role i've ever filled could easily have been filled by another.

its very discouraging to come to grips with how...replaceable you are.
to realize your life doesn't have much impact.

i guess, instead of looking at that thought process in a negative light, though, i should try to use it to inspire me to make my life matter--for more than for my own selfish gain...for eternal significance.



geesh.
leave it to me to let one of the greatest Christmas movies of all time DISCOURAGE me.
good grief.

"the gospel is THE GREATEST NEWS available in the WHOLE WORLD
and it has been placed in your hands and in your lives.

give yourself up
give up every small ambition
ask God to make you all he desires for you to be
so you may live to the praise of His glory."

- Alistair Begg -

i think its easy for me to get discouraged about where this journey of life is taking me.

today i was looking at my facebook profile, scrolling through my information to see if there was anything i needed to update.
eventually i hit the box labeled "Education Info"
and there, in black in white, are the words "Cedarville University '05, World Missions major"
for some reason, it caught me off guard.
is that really what i graduated with?
a BA in World Missions?
why?
what was i planning on doing with that?
what AM i planning on doing with that?
should i have majored in something more practical and a little less...vague?


perhaps im having something of an identity crisis.
but really....that degree--those experiences--seem so foreign to me now.
my heart struggles to relate to that world i once knew and longed for.
and im left to wonder...where exactly was i hoping to be at this point in my life?
maybe doing something that, perhaps....mattered a little more?


whats really breaking my heart though is not that im not doing much with my degree at the moment.
whats really breaking my heart is that my desire for mission, for worship, for my Lord...is not NEARLY what it used to be.
its not what it was when i declared my major.
not what it was when i was going to bible classes and learning about God's desire for the poor and the lost.

i dont feel like the life im living now and the kind of person that i am at this very moment is a very mission minded person--not a person who has such an overwhelming LOVE and DESIRE for her Savior that everything else comes second, and all she wants to do is shout His names from the rooftops.
that person...feels so......past.
if she ever existed at all......
and that saddens my heart greatly.


the Sarah i now see in the mirror is a selfish Sarah.
a Sarah who has gotten comfortable and cozy in her nice house, with her nice things, her nice friends, her nice church, her nice job....
this is not a broken Sarah.
not a God-fearing, God-seeking, all-together sold out Sarah.
not a Sarah who wants to shout the name of Jesus so that all the world can hear.
its a reserved Sarah. a quiet, lets-not-cause-waves-and-ruffle-feathers Sarah, who would much rather have people like her than like (or even love) Jesus.

what an ugly and thoroughly disappointing reflection.


so what hope is there for this wretched self-absorbed soul?
thankfully, the same hope that there is for ALL such souls.

Left my fear by the side of the road
Hear You speak
You won't let go
Fall to my knees as I lift my hands to pray

Got every reason to be here again
Father's love that draws me in
And all my eyes wanna see is a glimpse of You

All I need is You
All I need is You Lord
Is you Lord

One more day and it's not the same
Your spirit calls my heart to sing
Drawn to the voice of my Saviour once again
Where would my soul be without Your Son
Gave His life to save the earth
Rest in the thought that You're watching over me

All I need is You
All I need is You Lord
Is You Lord

You hold the universe
You hold everyone on earth
You hold the universe
You hold
You hold

slowly but surely, the walls are starting to crumble
theres a rumbling of hunger inside me...a hunger for more than this. for something greater. for YOU.

what if....we DIDN'T put God in a box?

what if...we let our passion overflow into ridiculous amounts of belief and trust in our Maker?

what if...we let Him have FULL ACCESS to our hopes and dreams...?

...and our lives?

sometimes i wonder if i come off as just a taaaaaaad bit needy.

im pretty sure i do.
i hate that.

just goes to show that i AM in need of something, and its not something im gonna find here on earth.

You hold the universe, You hold everyone on earth
All I need is You, all I need is You...

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are


oh man, who doesn't love the Onion?
:-D
sarcastic, feisty, and oh so spot on.
this is seriously just too funny, no matter who you voted for.

i can NOT seem to get warm.
ive got on jeans, a tank top, a t shirt and a sweatshirt
and im currently curled up underneath my sheets and down comforter
and STILL, no warmth.

gosh i love this time of year
:-)





yesterday, a handsome young passenger on my plane gave me this:



actually, he gave it to the Customer Service Agent to give to me since she wouldnt let him get back on the plane to personally deliver it.
hah!
but seriously, how sweet is that?
things like this need to happen more often!

so i suppose we're due for an update here...

id have to say the most recent and exciting news (that is, unfortunately, not so pleasant)
is that my checking account just had about $450 stolen from it.
apparently someone in Florida decided to make a counterfeit of my debit card (or something)
and use it to make $75 and $100 transactions at some BPs around the Orlando area.

the card has since been canceled and i have a new one now, but unfortunately i cant really use it since i have almost no money left in my bank account.

lovely.



other news....
running has lessened ever since my right knee decided to stage a revolt and protest my actions.
booooo on that.
im gonna try getting new shoes and see if that helps the issue.
when i get some money, that is.



the hair is getting cut, possibly today.
it needs oomph.



Jesse fixed my electric guitar, which is very exciting.
i havent touched that thing in 4 years or so...it'll be nice to play something other than Beulah for awhile.
(no offense to Beulah. she's a faithful ol' broad)



its been a crappy couple of months for reserves at my airline.
furloughs for all the people who got awarded them are starting at the end of this month,
which means alllllll those people (1500 or so) are flying allllllll of their trips and arent giving any of them up for us reserves.
i mean, i guess i can see why.... theyre trying to chalk up as many hours as they can to get as much money as they can before they stop working for 6 to 21 months.
id do it, if i were them.
but alas, i am a reserve who depends on the sick days and tossed aside trips of the elite lineholders.
blast it all.

so ive been doing a lot of twiddling of the thumbs.
so far this month ive flown 2 trips -- one Frankfurt (3 days) and one domestic 2 day.
not exactly impressive, considering we're nearing the middle of the month already.
the silver lining is the fact that in 18 days those people will be gone and we will, once again, be needed.
and isnt it just grand to be needed?

finis.

The Death of the Flowers - William Cullen Bryant - THE MELANCHOLY days have come, the saddest of the year,
Of wailing winds, and naked woods, and meadows brown and sere;
Heaped in the hollows of the grove, the autumn leaves lie dead;
They rustle to the eddying gust, and to the rabbit's tread;
The robin and the wren are flown, and from the shrubs the jay,
And from the wood-top calls the crow through all the gloomy day.
Where are the flowers, the fair young flowers, that lately sprang and stood
In brighter light and softer airs, a beauteous sisterhood?
Alas! they all are in their graves, the gentle race of flowers
Are lying in their lowly beds with the fair and good of ours.
The rain is falling where they lie, but the cold November rain
Calls not from out the gloomy earth the lovely ones again.
The wind-flower and the violet, they perished long ago,
And the brier-rose and the orchis died amid the summer glow;
But on the hill the goldenrod, and the aster in the wood,
And the yellow sunflower by the brook in autumn beauty stood,
Till fell the frost from the clear cold heaven, as falls the plague on men,
And the brightness of their smile was gone, from upland, glade, and glen.
And now, when comes the calm mild day, as still such days will come,
To call the squirrel and the bee from out their winter home;
When the sound of dropping nuts is heard, though all the trees are still,
And twinkle in the smoky light the waters of the rill,
The south wind searches for the flowers whose fragrance late he bore,
And sighs to find them in the wood and by the stream no more.
And then I think of one who in her youthful beauty died,
The fair meek blossom that grew up and faded by my side.
In the cold moist earth we laid her, when the forests cast the leaf,
And we wept that one so lovely should have a life so brief:
Yet not unmeet it was that one, like that young friend of ours,
So gentle and so beautiful, should perish with the flowers.

rest peacefully, Janet.
we miss you, but we'll see you again soon...

im thinking of bringing back my shorter hair days.
my locks are achin' for VOLUME!

thoughts please.



i find it odd how often i make my bed these days.
surprisingly, its much easier to make a queen bed than my former twin.
mostly because i no longer succeed in inadvertently tossing the majority of my bedding off in the middle of the night like i did with the twin.
ergo, much less to straighten and tidy.
i gotta say, it really is so nice to come home from a trip and see a nicely made bed waiting for me.
makes everything look cleaner.

good heavens, im becoming my father.
(either that or hotel rooms are spoiling me)



so, running as often as i have been and avoiding sugary desserts and whatnot seems to have had no real impact on my weight.
if anything, ive gained, and thats just messed up if you ask me.
i mean, whats the point of trying so hard if you get no results?
im about to throw in the towel and say the heck with it---go back to eating my sweets and get all lazy.
but im sure that will only lead to the diabetic curse that seems to run rampant in my family
and, well....no thanks.



that aside, theres not much else to say.
except this:

He loves us, O how He loves us...

there's a guy at a certain Starbucks i frequent who bugs me.
ive never interacted with him, but the reason for my irritation lies in what he DOES.
no matter how early i get there, he gets there before me, and no matter how late i stay, he stays later.

and he sits in my seat.

i mean, ok, its not mine PERSAY, but its the table i prefer when im photo editing because its got the best lighting.

the worst thing is that he's almost never actually SITTING there.
he has his computer stuff all splayed out, marking his territory,
but the majority of the time he's outside smoking, or talking on his cellphone, or just disappearing altogether.
one time he was gone for a good hour and a half,
yet all his stuff stayed put.
ARRGGG!!

and he doesnt even DO anything.
when he's actually AT his computer (which, of course, is a Mac. dont even get me started..)
he's just surfing the web.
yesterday he was browsing political articles on cnn.com,
commenting on articles, occasionally visiting a blog or two,
but never doing anything that actually resembled WORK.

maybe i need to take this Starbucks out of my rotation,
because he apparently never leaves.

oh well.
the lighting sucks anyway.

this is from ben's blog:

The opposite of complaining is leading...

If you don't like a decision your boss makes, lead up.
If you don't like your office culture, lead around you.
If you don't like your circumstances, lead through it.
If you don't like your church's short-comings, lead out.

Complaining is a sign of giving up. It's admitting that you're a follower, not a leader. A leader is a never a victim. But someone who sees that all conditions are subject to change with the right influence.

i liked it.

so i stole it.

thanks ben.

it sucks.

i never really understood what was so undesirable about the dreaded "middle seat"




i mean, no, it wouldnt be my FIRST choice
but it's not as bad as people make it out to be.

look at it this way:
if you're sitting in the middle,
you only have to inconvenience ONE person if you need to get out of your seat,
whereas the person at the window is pretty much just stuck there for the duration.

you also are only ONE seat away from a window view,
which is better than the guy on the aisle who, being where he's at, will never get to know what Chicago looks like from 30,000 ft.

so, really, how can this equidistance be so bad?
you gotta look at it from a different perspective, people.