How To Practice Being a Flight Attendant

Go to a resale store and find an old, navy suit that an army sergeant might have worn. Add a white shirt and a tie. Wear that same outfit for three consecutive days.

Go to an airport and watch airplanes take off for several hours. Pretend you are standing-by hoping to get a seat on one of them and they are all full. Go home. Return to the airport the very next day and do the same thing again.

Fill several large boxes with rocks. Lift them over your head and place them on the top shelf of a closet. Violently shove as many heavy items into the leftover space as you can without anything hanging over the edge of the shelf. Do this until you feel a disc slip in your back.

Turn on a radio. Be sure to set it between stations so there is plenty of static. Turn on the vacuum cleaner and garbage disposal. Run them all night.

Remove the covers from several T.V. entrees. Place them in a hot oven. Leave the food in the oven until it's completely dried out. Remove the hot trays with your bare hands. Serve to your family. Don't include anything for yourself. Serve your family a beverage one hour after they've received their meal. Make them remain in their seats during this time. Ask them to scream at you and complain about the service. Scrounge uneaten rolls off the plates for you to eat 6 hours later when you're really hungry. Place a straight-backed chair in a closet facing a blank wall. Use a belt to strap yourself into it. Eat the rolls you saved from your family's meal.

Ask your family to use the bathroom as frequently as possible. Tell them to remove their shoes and socks before entering, and see who can make the most disgusting mess.

Make a narrow aisle between several dining room chairs and randomly scatter your husband's runners and loafers along the way. Turn off the lights and spend the night walking up and down the aisle while banging your shins against the chair legs and tripping over the shoes. Drink several cups of cold coffee to keep yourself awake.

Gently wake your family in the morning and serve them a muffin in a package. Don't forget to smile and wish them a nice day when they leave for work and school.

After the family leaves, take a suitcase and go out into the yard. If it's not raining, turn on the sprinkler system and stand in the cold for 30 minutes pretending like you're waiting for the crew bus to pick you up for the hotel. Then go inside and wait by your bedroom door for another 30 minutes for an imaginary maid to make up your room.

Change into street clothes and shop for 5 hours. Pick up carry-out food from a local deli or 7-Eleven. Go back home. Sit on your bed and eat your meal. Set your alarm clock for 03:00 am so you'll be ready incase you don't get your wake up call. Repeat the above schedule for three days in a row and you'll be ready to work your first international flight!



(please note: i did NOT write this. i edited bits and pieces, but i cant take credit for the brilliance of this post. sorry to mislead, if i did in fact mislead.)

"The world bursts at the seams with people ready to tell you you're not good enough.
On occasion, some may be correct.
But do not do their work for them.
Seek any job; ask anyone out; pursue any goal.
Don't take it personally when they say "no" -- they may not be smart enough to say "yes."

- Keith Olbermann -

(from an old Starbucks cup i found...)

so now begins that wonderful time of year where sarah has some choices to make.
fun choices, mind you.
choices liiiiiiike.........where does she want to layover during the holidays?


yes yes, if you'll recall, my company does this lovely little thing called Christmas Wish List.
all reserves who are scheduled to work the holidays are free to submit 3 locations (ANYWHERE United flies) where we would like to layover during Christmas.
they will then try their best to give you one of your choices.
now, it doesnt always happen...i've never actually gotten any of the choices ive submitted, BUT i did get NYC my first year and Honolulu last year, so really...i can't complain ;-)


SO I NEED YOUR HELP!!
where should i go for Christmas?


this year im gonna keep it a bit more realistic.... i usually throw one wildcard in there, but this year if i do that im gonna stick with a location that we actually fly to out of our base. like Paris.

so......where else should i go?

i wouldnt mind going where i KNOW people, but then, i also dont want to wreck anyone's holiday plans by dropping in unexpectedly and demanding you take me to all your christmas festivities ;-)


so if you have any suggestions, feel free to share!
and i'll let you know where i end up ;-)

i finished rereading the first Twilight book this morning.
then i read the spoilers for the other 3 books in hopes of curbing my obsession.
i think it worked, actually.
i don't get so sucked in when i know what's going to happen...and now i wont go rushing out for the next one.
i'm hoping, if i DO choose to read the other ones, i can remain comfortably detached from the storyline and not get so entranced.
that was annoying.
and unhealthy.
i'm looking forward to getting back to reality
(well, sort of...)

nothing has been appealing to me lately. life in general has been dismal. i don't know why or when it started...but it's very troublesome.
nothing is fulfilling. everything is a disappointment, if not immediately then in the foreseeable future, which the very thought of inevitably ruins any pleasure i might find in the present.
for example, the thought of any romantic relationship is unappealing.
surely, eventually, it will fail or fall apart (if i ever even enter into one to begin with), love and passion will fade and disappoint, and i'll end up broken. dissatisfied. ugh.
i know that this attitude in particular towards relationships has really only recently been fueled by the infidelity of someone i never would have expected it from... someone who's marriage seemed unshakable because they were both so crazy about each other.
but apparently even the craziest of love isn't enough...
i haven't heard all of the gory details yet, but the very fact of it happening has left me even more hopeless and pessimistic toward love and the institution of marriage.
in a positive twist though, i suppose it further fuels my determination to never settle.
i'm holding out for above and beyond, or i'm going it alone, which is perfectly fine by me.

it doesn't help (returning to the Twilight storyline) that Edward and Bella are like the epitome of perfection, and having just read about them i have to be faced with the imperfections of reality and this recently tainted marriage... it makes it all a bit hard to swallow.
not to mention that Edward and Bella's story is also full of adventure... adventure that very much seems to be lacking in my life right now.
i'm always a sucker for a good adventure, as are probably all the other people who seem to be addicted to this story.
maybe that's WHY it's so addicting...cause our lives are pathetically boring in comparison.

is it bad that falling in love, getting married and having kids isn't an exciting enough story for me? isn't an exciting enough LIFE for me?
it's too boring. too normal. too predictably disappointing.

i guess this is why we have a higher calling in Christ and aren't meant to live for ourselves.
good grief, i think if i didn't have the hope of Christ and living for him as the reasons for my existence, i would be constantly depressed.
i struggle enough while HAVING Him--imagine what kind of shape i'd be in if i didn't!


i need someone to talk to... this is too much emotional turmoil for my lonely little self to handle.


oh and here's another log for the discouragement fire:
mom and i watched It's A Wonderful Life while i was home, and it got me thinking...
if i had never been born, how might things be different for those who are currently around me? WOULD anything be different?
i've never saved anyone's life or helped anyone make any life-altering decisions. at least, not that i can recall...
mom and dad would never have had to fork out $18 grand every year for my college tuition, my nephew wouldn't have an aunt to spoil him,
and i'm totally expendable in my company so its not like the planes would suddenly not be able to fly without me...
my parents would still be divorced, my sister would still be married to her husband and would still have Aiden...and really not much would be affected by my absence.
any role i've ever filled could easily have been filled by another.

its very discouraging to come to grips with how...replaceable you are.
to realize your life doesn't have much impact.

i guess, instead of looking at that thought process in a negative light, though, i should try to use it to inspire me to make my life matter--for more than for my own selfish gain...for eternal significance.



geesh.
leave it to me to let one of the greatest Christmas movies of all time DISCOURAGE me.
good grief.

"the gospel is THE GREATEST NEWS available in the WHOLE WORLD
and it has been placed in your hands and in your lives.

give yourself up
give up every small ambition
ask God to make you all he desires for you to be
so you may live to the praise of His glory."

- Alistair Begg -

i think its easy for me to get discouraged about where this journey of life is taking me.

today i was looking at my facebook profile, scrolling through my information to see if there was anything i needed to update.
eventually i hit the box labeled "Education Info"
and there, in black in white, are the words "Cedarville University '05, World Missions major"
for some reason, it caught me off guard.
is that really what i graduated with?
a BA in World Missions?
why?
what was i planning on doing with that?
what AM i planning on doing with that?
should i have majored in something more practical and a little less...vague?


perhaps im having something of an identity crisis.
but really....that degree--those experiences--seem so foreign to me now.
my heart struggles to relate to that world i once knew and longed for.
and im left to wonder...where exactly was i hoping to be at this point in my life?
maybe doing something that, perhaps....mattered a little more?


whats really breaking my heart though is not that im not doing much with my degree at the moment.
whats really breaking my heart is that my desire for mission, for worship, for my Lord...is not NEARLY what it used to be.
its not what it was when i declared my major.
not what it was when i was going to bible classes and learning about God's desire for the poor and the lost.

i dont feel like the life im living now and the kind of person that i am at this very moment is a very mission minded person--not a person who has such an overwhelming LOVE and DESIRE for her Savior that everything else comes second, and all she wants to do is shout His names from the rooftops.
that person...feels so......past.
if she ever existed at all......
and that saddens my heart greatly.


the Sarah i now see in the mirror is a selfish Sarah.
a Sarah who has gotten comfortable and cozy in her nice house, with her nice things, her nice friends, her nice church, her nice job....
this is not a broken Sarah.
not a God-fearing, God-seeking, all-together sold out Sarah.
not a Sarah who wants to shout the name of Jesus so that all the world can hear.
its a reserved Sarah. a quiet, lets-not-cause-waves-and-ruffle-feathers Sarah, who would much rather have people like her than like (or even love) Jesus.

what an ugly and thoroughly disappointing reflection.


so what hope is there for this wretched self-absorbed soul?
thankfully, the same hope that there is for ALL such souls.

Left my fear by the side of the road
Hear You speak
You won't let go
Fall to my knees as I lift my hands to pray

Got every reason to be here again
Father's love that draws me in
And all my eyes wanna see is a glimpse of You

All I need is You
All I need is You Lord
Is you Lord

One more day and it's not the same
Your spirit calls my heart to sing
Drawn to the voice of my Saviour once again
Where would my soul be without Your Son
Gave His life to save the earth
Rest in the thought that You're watching over me

All I need is You
All I need is You Lord
Is You Lord

You hold the universe
You hold everyone on earth
You hold the universe
You hold
You hold

slowly but surely, the walls are starting to crumble
theres a rumbling of hunger inside me...a hunger for more than this. for something greater. for YOU.

what if....we DIDN'T put God in a box?

what if...we let our passion overflow into ridiculous amounts of belief and trust in our Maker?

what if...we let Him have FULL ACCESS to our hopes and dreams...?

...and our lives?

sometimes i wonder if i come off as just a taaaaaaad bit needy.

im pretty sure i do.
i hate that.

just goes to show that i AM in need of something, and its not something im gonna find here on earth.

You hold the universe, You hold everyone on earth
All I need is You, all I need is You...

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are


oh man, who doesn't love the Onion?
:-D
sarcastic, feisty, and oh so spot on.
this is seriously just too funny, no matter who you voted for.

i can NOT seem to get warm.
ive got on jeans, a tank top, a t shirt and a sweatshirt
and im currently curled up underneath my sheets and down comforter
and STILL, no warmth.

gosh i love this time of year
:-)





yesterday, a handsome young passenger on my plane gave me this:



actually, he gave it to the Customer Service Agent to give to me since she wouldnt let him get back on the plane to personally deliver it.
hah!
but seriously, how sweet is that?
things like this need to happen more often!

so i suppose we're due for an update here...

id have to say the most recent and exciting news (that is, unfortunately, not so pleasant)
is that my checking account just had about $450 stolen from it.
apparently someone in Florida decided to make a counterfeit of my debit card (or something)
and use it to make $75 and $100 transactions at some BPs around the Orlando area.

the card has since been canceled and i have a new one now, but unfortunately i cant really use it since i have almost no money left in my bank account.

lovely.



other news....
running has lessened ever since my right knee decided to stage a revolt and protest my actions.
booooo on that.
im gonna try getting new shoes and see if that helps the issue.
when i get some money, that is.



the hair is getting cut, possibly today.
it needs oomph.



Jesse fixed my electric guitar, which is very exciting.
i havent touched that thing in 4 years or so...it'll be nice to play something other than Beulah for awhile.
(no offense to Beulah. she's a faithful ol' broad)



its been a crappy couple of months for reserves at my airline.
furloughs for all the people who got awarded them are starting at the end of this month,
which means alllllll those people (1500 or so) are flying allllllll of their trips and arent giving any of them up for us reserves.
i mean, i guess i can see why.... theyre trying to chalk up as many hours as they can to get as much money as they can before they stop working for 6 to 21 months.
id do it, if i were them.
but alas, i am a reserve who depends on the sick days and tossed aside trips of the elite lineholders.
blast it all.

so ive been doing a lot of twiddling of the thumbs.
so far this month ive flown 2 trips -- one Frankfurt (3 days) and one domestic 2 day.
not exactly impressive, considering we're nearing the middle of the month already.
the silver lining is the fact that in 18 days those people will be gone and we will, once again, be needed.
and isnt it just grand to be needed?

finis.

The Death of the Flowers - William Cullen Bryant - THE MELANCHOLY days have come, the saddest of the year,
Of wailing winds, and naked woods, and meadows brown and sere;
Heaped in the hollows of the grove, the autumn leaves lie dead;
They rustle to the eddying gust, and to the rabbit's tread;
The robin and the wren are flown, and from the shrubs the jay,
And from the wood-top calls the crow through all the gloomy day.
Where are the flowers, the fair young flowers, that lately sprang and stood
In brighter light and softer airs, a beauteous sisterhood?
Alas! they all are in their graves, the gentle race of flowers
Are lying in their lowly beds with the fair and good of ours.
The rain is falling where they lie, but the cold November rain
Calls not from out the gloomy earth the lovely ones again.
The wind-flower and the violet, they perished long ago,
And the brier-rose and the orchis died amid the summer glow;
But on the hill the goldenrod, and the aster in the wood,
And the yellow sunflower by the brook in autumn beauty stood,
Till fell the frost from the clear cold heaven, as falls the plague on men,
And the brightness of their smile was gone, from upland, glade, and glen.
And now, when comes the calm mild day, as still such days will come,
To call the squirrel and the bee from out their winter home;
When the sound of dropping nuts is heard, though all the trees are still,
And twinkle in the smoky light the waters of the rill,
The south wind searches for the flowers whose fragrance late he bore,
And sighs to find them in the wood and by the stream no more.
And then I think of one who in her youthful beauty died,
The fair meek blossom that grew up and faded by my side.
In the cold moist earth we laid her, when the forests cast the leaf,
And we wept that one so lovely should have a life so brief:
Yet not unmeet it was that one, like that young friend of ours,
So gentle and so beautiful, should perish with the flowers.

rest peacefully, Janet.
we miss you, but we'll see you again soon...

im thinking of bringing back my shorter hair days.
my locks are achin' for VOLUME!

thoughts please.



i find it odd how often i make my bed these days.
surprisingly, its much easier to make a queen bed than my former twin.
mostly because i no longer succeed in inadvertently tossing the majority of my bedding off in the middle of the night like i did with the twin.
ergo, much less to straighten and tidy.
i gotta say, it really is so nice to come home from a trip and see a nicely made bed waiting for me.
makes everything look cleaner.

good heavens, im becoming my father.
(either that or hotel rooms are spoiling me)



so, running as often as i have been and avoiding sugary desserts and whatnot seems to have had no real impact on my weight.
if anything, ive gained, and thats just messed up if you ask me.
i mean, whats the point of trying so hard if you get no results?
im about to throw in the towel and say the heck with it---go back to eating my sweets and get all lazy.
but im sure that will only lead to the diabetic curse that seems to run rampant in my family
and, well....no thanks.



that aside, theres not much else to say.
except this:

He loves us, O how He loves us...

there's a guy at a certain Starbucks i frequent who bugs me.
ive never interacted with him, but the reason for my irritation lies in what he DOES.
no matter how early i get there, he gets there before me, and no matter how late i stay, he stays later.

and he sits in my seat.

i mean, ok, its not mine PERSAY, but its the table i prefer when im photo editing because its got the best lighting.

the worst thing is that he's almost never actually SITTING there.
he has his computer stuff all splayed out, marking his territory,
but the majority of the time he's outside smoking, or talking on his cellphone, or just disappearing altogether.
one time he was gone for a good hour and a half,
yet all his stuff stayed put.
ARRGGG!!

and he doesnt even DO anything.
when he's actually AT his computer (which, of course, is a Mac. dont even get me started..)
he's just surfing the web.
yesterday he was browsing political articles on cnn.com,
commenting on articles, occasionally visiting a blog or two,
but never doing anything that actually resembled WORK.

maybe i need to take this Starbucks out of my rotation,
because he apparently never leaves.

oh well.
the lighting sucks anyway.

this is from ben's blog:

The opposite of complaining is leading...

If you don't like a decision your boss makes, lead up.
If you don't like your office culture, lead around you.
If you don't like your circumstances, lead through it.
If you don't like your church's short-comings, lead out.

Complaining is a sign of giving up. It's admitting that you're a follower, not a leader. A leader is a never a victim. But someone who sees that all conditions are subject to change with the right influence.

i liked it.

so i stole it.

thanks ben.

it sucks.

i never really understood what was so undesirable about the dreaded "middle seat"




i mean, no, it wouldnt be my FIRST choice
but it's not as bad as people make it out to be.

look at it this way:
if you're sitting in the middle,
you only have to inconvenience ONE person if you need to get out of your seat,
whereas the person at the window is pretty much just stuck there for the duration.

you also are only ONE seat away from a window view,
which is better than the guy on the aisle who, being where he's at, will never get to know what Chicago looks like from 30,000 ft.

so, really, how can this equidistance be so bad?
you gotta look at it from a different perspective, people.

here's a random thought for you:

in all those crime investigation shows, when someone gets murdered in a hotel room
have you noticed how they always assume (and are right) that any DNA they find at the crime scene (fingernail clippings, hairs, bodily fluids, etc)
is linked to the murder/suspect/victim somehow?

i mean, really, how do they know its not just a poorly cleaned hotel room?

now, quite obviously iive been in a LOOOOOOT of hotel rooms, most pretty darn clean, but some have been real dives. and sometimes, in the dives AND in the more upscale ones, the cleaning staff misses a thing or two.
take today, for example.
im staying at a very nice, recently renovated Marriott hotel in Orlando.
this morning, as i was drying my hair, i noticed a small fingernail clipping imbedded in the carpet.
mine? certainly not.
i dont blame cleaning crews for this--they do a really good job, most of the time--but obviously, sometimes the vacuum doesnt pick up everything its supposed to.

so what if that hotel room turned into a crime scene?
someone would find that fingernail clipping, run DNA scans, and poor Mr. Billy Bob Jones of Luckenbach, TX would suddenly be pegged as a key suspect in the investigation.

seems like a bit of a sham to me.







in other news, ive taken to running 5 miles in the morning, a couple times a week.
im loving the results...my endurance has increased immensely, my stomach is tighter, my leg muscles are more defined, and ive already lost almost 5 pounds
my only beef? my neck muscles are KILLING me!
i must tense up a lot when i run.... is this normal?

bugger.



also, im fasting from sweets and desserts for a month.
with how often ive had to avoid things and turn certain things down so far, i am excruciatingly aware of how much of that crap i must have eaten on a regular basis before.
its an eye opening, for sure...
crappy food is apparently always readily at my disposal.
stupid job....

i am convinced an iced Americano will cure many more ails than we give it credit for.
just ask me yesterday morning..




so i slept in my car the other night.
long story as to why, but in the end i kinda liked the idea.
got to finally break-in that sleeping bag i got on sale at Dick's about 3 years ago...
it got a wee bit cold around 3am, but it kinda felt like camping.
without the bugs.
reminded me of my homeless weekend in Urban Ministry senior year...

sobering.

do you have ANY idea how privileged we are?



Mike and i found an absolutely ENORMOUS cantaloupe at Kroger's the other night.
observe:







amazing.



so. West Virginia is gorgeous, by the way.
all that Appalachian country.... wow.
had i actually thought about the fact that id be traveling through such beautiful areas
i would have left earlier in the day...
as it turned out, i hit the mountains just after dark
so rather than enjoying the lovely scenery around me, i had to succumb to ARAA
(Anal-Retentive Animal Awareness)
so as to avoid any nasty run-ins with Bambi and friends...

what a bummer.



but today's my birthday, i have a new purse, i ran 5 miles this morning, and im on my way to Brussels.
ain't nothin' gonna get me down ;-)

(if, in this offering, you see me more than Jesus,
then we have a problem)

"Mommy, when Sarah sings 'How He Loves', I see how much God loves us"

best. compliment. ever.




other news:

* i have a new car. a RELIABLE car, with AIR CONDITIONING, CLOTH seats, and a SMALLER BODY that doesnt require that two side-by-side parking spaces be empty in order to park it into one of them.
huzzah!
the downside: no antenna, which means no ipod hookup....and i have no cds with me except for the new Death Cab. its gonna be a loooooooong drive back to Virginia.... (oh yes, did i mention the car's in Indiana?)


* ive been throwing a lot of things away lately. i like throwing things away.
i like condensing my life and getting rid of the clutter.
it bugs me when i want to just trash something but i know i need to try to sell it or give it to a worthy cause which is always more of a hassle than just throwing it in the garbage.
oh well. such is life.


* i have Aiden-slobber on my shoulder.
yet another reason why i should enjoy my singleness NOW while i can.
(i gotta admit though, he IS the cutest nephew a girl could ask for)


* that stupid waxing gibbous is killing my Perseids viewing.
meh.


* life is dealing some crazy blows these days, and not just to me.
what's going on??

15 minutes into the Olympic Opening Ceremonies and im already crying. DANG IT! happens every year...

i love singing praises to you, Jesus.
i love it that in heaven i'll be able to bust it out even more so than now,
and no one will even care.
no one will praise me or pay me any mind at all, really--
it will ALL be for You,

and you'll be pleased.
you'll smile,
maybe even cry a little..

cause you love me so,
and i love YOU so
and we both get to enjoy each other for eternity

what joy is this
:-)

ohhh how lovely it would be to be able to say all those things we long to say to passengers...and have an excuse like that to fall back on

locked myself out of the house today
(and, consequently, my car, seeing as the house and car keys are on the same chain)

at least it wasnt raining.



i may acquire these.
if i can talk the seller down to a more affordable price.






i keep biting the inside of my right cheek when i eat.
maybe i should just stop eating.
it happens every time...



so have i mentioned that mom is finally giving me her Honda Accord?
yes yes, tis true--the moment we've all been waiting for has finally arrived.
she got her CRV, and i am currently the neediest child when it comes to vehicular exigency,
ergo.....i get the Accord :-D

the only catch is i have to drive it from Fort Wayne, IN to Reston, VA.
but its a pretty drive....right?

so yesterday i put this ad for my current car on Craigslist just to see if i could spark any interest:

this is a 94 chrysler lhs, in so-so condition.

it could use some new tires (one of the current tires is a spare, but its a full tire, not a donut, and its been on there awhile and served me just fine),
and the brakes squeak a bit (hey, honesty's the best policy, right?),
and there's no air conditioning.

it also could use a good car wash (HA! im so lazy)

apart from that, its fine.
really, i just need to get rid of it, since im getting a new car in early august and cant afford to keep both.
the price is $500...or best offer.
i'll take whatever you are willing to pay.

some of the perks are that there's TONS of room inside. you can fit at LEAST 2 large suitcases in the trunk, no problem. its freaking HUGE.
leather interior as well.

let me know if you want to come look at it.

within hours, i had 18 emails about it.
good gracious, its amazing how many people are willing to fork out $500 for a piece of crap.

so here's a question:
if you mix non-fat milk and half and half...is that essentially the same as just adding 2% in the first place?





oh yes, and the wedding was good.
here are some flowers:

















apparently thats the official flower of South Africa (where the groom was from)

the pictures could have been better...but then, i am still learning.
they werent horrible for my first wedding, i guess.


oh yeah, and i flew first class both ways.
booyah.
man, those lie-flat seats are coooooooooo-zy.
;-)







does anyone else feel like blogging incessantly is kind of....self centered? selfish? egotistical?
in a way, its like that one kid on the playground who runs away from everyone who tries to come up and talk to him, simply so he will be chased...
wanted.
sought after.
pursued.
KNOWN.
we blog to feed our longing for attention.
we want reactions. results. an outcome for our output.
at least for me this can be the case...

maybe thats why my posts are so sparse these days.

just a thought.

off to Derby again, as of 6:04 this evening. i cant believe its been almost 3 years.... wow. God is good. you know, i think the issue i have with doing wedding photography is the whole public display of affection thing. unless its in a movie, i dont want to see it. well, lets amend that...handholding is fine. but anything beyond that and i get uncomfortable witnessing it first hand. so... i guess thats a lovely little hurdle that im just gonna have to get over. pray i dont botch this up.

Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.

Habakkuk 3:17-19

and, just for kicks:

PS 50:1 Бог Богов, Господь возглаголал и призывает землю, от восхода солнца до запада.
PS 50:2 С Сиона, который есть верх красоты, является Бог,
PS 50:3 (49-3) грядет Бог наш, и не в безмолвии: пред Ним огонь поядающий, и вокруг Его сильная буря.
PS 50:4 (49-4) Он призывает свыше небо и землю, судить народ Свой:
PS 50:5 (49-5) `соберите ко Мне святых Моих, вступивших в завет со Мною при жертве`.
PS 50:6 (49-6) И небеса провозгласят правду Его, ибо судия сей есть Бог

Psalm 50:1-6

m o n d a y :

my laptop crashes.
everything--my pictures, my music, my photo editing programs, my word documents--everything is sucked into a virtual black hole of oblivion.
frantic chaos ensues.

t u e s d a y :

computer goes into the shop.
they'll call within 3-5 business days.

w e d n e s d a y :

i get assigned a 5 day international trip.
what timing.
not only can i not be available when the computer guys may call to authorize repairs (PLEASE God, let it be repairable), but that also means that by the time i get back, i will have only 1.5 days before i leave for England to shoot Nicole's wedding....with no hope of a computer to put the pictures on, edit them, make a cd of final copies for the bride.....
i also have to hastily book my transportation to Derby (mooching off my roomie's laptop for 2 hours) once i arrive at Heathrow (do i take the bus? the train? which is cheaper? what if we're delayed? are the tickets refundable? what do you mean my credit card is declined?)


sooooooooooo much fun, i cannot even begin to tell you.

but God and i had this conversation:

"WHY does it have to be FIVE DAYS, Lord?!
and why why WHY must it be OUT OF THE COUNTRY?!?
im a ship with no sails here...a boat without a paddle, flailing about with no.."

"Do you trust Me?"

"..yes...."

"Ok then. Trust me."



"ok."








that aside, i think i may have also completely botched up a perfectly good friendship
suck.

du journal, le 5 Juillet 2008

here's a story of a classic french moment:

Just now, as I'm sitting on this bench in the park, a man (probably in his mid thirties) approaches pushing two young children in a stroller.
He stops in front of me, leans on the stroller handles and asks, "American?"
I respond yes.
"Beautiful?" referring to me. (love how he phrases it as question)
I chuckle and shake my head no.
"No? Not beautiful? Ohhhh", he smiles. "What you do in Paris?"
I pause my ipod, smile, and say, "Flight attendant."
"Fly?" He makes a motion with his hand. "You fly in planes?"
I nod.
"Ahhh." Big smile. "How long you stay in Paris?"
"I was here all day," I explain, "and leave tomorrow morning."
"Ahhh I see, I see. Well. You are very beautiful," he says, still smiling.
I laugh and wave as he and the kids start to roll away.
"Au revoir", I smile.
He winks, and theyre gone.



only in Paris.

love this girl.
and the picture.
and the city it was taken in.


anyone wanna move to portland with me?

i just bought these shoes on Zappos.com





woo!!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25083833/

this actually made me chuckle

mostly, though, because of how it totally outs our upper management as being a) responsible for our current mess, and b) just plain insane.


brilliant.







(Lord, whats my next move? im ready for something to happen. something big, exciting...different.
at least, i THINK im ready...)

can you honestly say, with enthusiasm and sincerity, that you LOVE your life?

the closest i can get is that i like it a good deal...most of the time.
its not bad.....

truly though, why is it so hard to LOVE my life?
(this is me, asking myself. because i dont know.)



i think theres a difference between loving life and loving YOUR life.
im all about life. i think its awesome. im a big fan of the living dealio.
but when it comes to MY life--where i am right at this very moment
i dont know..
im satisfied. content. (at least, 95% so)
but LOVING it...?

well, heres a question: does loving it mean theres nothing about it that you would want to change?
hmmm...

man, honestly, anytime i feel a little glum, all i need to do is look at pictures of my nephew and inevitably it makes me smile.
he's just so freaking cute
see for yourself:




























told ya

today i really started to wonder what i would do if i no longer had the job that i have.

as many of you have probably heard by now, my company (United Airlines) is cutting a lot of jobs (900-1600, various reports say).
while i have yet to discover if my job is in jeopardy,
it has gotten me thinking of what my next move may be
should God decide this is no longer where he wants me to be

would i move back to Fort Wayne?
(maybe just for a little while?...for grandpa's sake, mostly)
or would i stay in Virginia, with the church i have come to love so much?
how would i handle being so far from my family, should i choose to stay?
would i have to get a REAL job?
would i possibly consider the mission field once more?
would i possibly go somewhere else entirely and start a whole new life?

the options are thrilling and terrifying all at the same time.
thank God none of this is in my hands! i rest secure in the hands of the Lover of my Soul.
He knows what's best for me, and will do what's best for me

and because of that, i am content.




in other news, im terribly sad they're taking Men in Trees off the air
but i do look forward to seeing how they wrap it up.
i guess this means one less hour will be sucked out of my life via visual entertainment.

thats just swell.


soon to come:
pictures of the nephew.
and maybe some of the Louvre, but the nephew is far more enthralling :-)

ok
im doin' Los's lil Ragamuffintop Challenge

i dont know if i'll be able to post a photo every week
(dare i be so bold?)
but im definitely in.

goal weight: 130
timeframe: however freaking long it takes!

the last time i was that thin, i wasnt treating my body well at all.
im not going through that again...
this time, its good, its real, its HEALTHY, and its with the support of other lovely bloggers who want to start treating their bodies better

my obvious conundrum will be figuring out how to handle my diet when im working.
this job is the WORST for eating well,
cause sometimes your only options are to starve or to eat one of the ugly sugar-inflated donuts that the captain just bought for your crew...
and when youre gone for days on end, you can only bring so much of your own food...

but by golly, im gonna give it a whirl.
20lbs, my friends.
20lbs....starting now.


today: started in Vegas.
worked out in the morning, but not for too long...
half hour or so.
ate 2 sugar free Jello cups (60 calories each)
and an apricot dried fruit bar (35 cals)
left for the airport at 11:45am (vegas time)
got a sub at Quiznos (im tellin ya, this is how i live. we dont have a lot of options)
got a yogurt at Starbucks
flew from Vegas to Dulles...got in around 9pm
got home around 10ish
made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
and ate a huge bowl of my homemade veggie soup (AMAZING stuff--just tomatoes, squash, zuccini, onions, and spices)
...and then ate some peanut butter straight from the jar.
(yes, im one of those)

not the best day, food wise, but pretty typical....one might even call it one of my BETTER food days
(you dont want to know what i had for dinner last night.
it would break your heart)


dont worry, i wont give you a rundown EVERY day.
it helped to lay it all out to begin with though

this tears me up every time...

i am in desperate need of a grocery excursion.
beyond desperate, actually.
the other night, i ate an entire bag of broccoli for dinner.
cause thats what i have.
broccoli...
and oatmeal.

i DO have some bisquick that is usually reserved for making quiches, but tonight i broke down and made pancakes.
cause there was literally nothing else.
and, because i had no maple syrup, i mixed in a little cinnamon and sugar, and drizzled 'em lightly with honey.
not bad, actually.
but seriously. i need something a little more...balanced.




so im kinda sad Whiteboard is over.
im probably the only one who feels that way, considering there were beacoup amounts of people who did SO much more work than i did (and on MUCH less sleep, mind you) who are probably happy to finally have it over with...
but really...it was nice to have something to look forward to, you know?
some new event, new experience, new thing to be a part of.
and it was awesome meeting so many other people who shared that same intense passion to see Jesus glorified in our generation.
i mean, those speakers were amazing! i was so challenged, and im not even a pastor or leader of any sort, really

and i gotta say....it was such a rush to sing in front of that crowd.
i mean, WHOA.
God totally rocked it.
not a lick of it was us, and thats what made it SO freaking cool.

yeah.


on a totally unrelated note (as per sarah custom),
my crew and i got randomly drug tested after we finished our trip today.
we pulled into Baltimore Airport, the passengers got off, and naturally, since we all live quite a ways away from BWI, we all went to the bathroom before we ourselves deplaned.
we walk onto the jetbridge and who's there to greet us?
the Substance Abuse Mafia.
meh.
2 hours later, after we've downed enough Diet Coke to produce adequate samples and signed all our rights away, we are finally released into the teeming throngs of the glorious holiday-weekend traffic.
fortunately, our "collection" party delayed us enough that i think we missed the bulk of it.....well, all of us but the girl heading home to Annapolis.
she was pretty much screwed either way.


and that, my friends, is the end of the story.




[i need something new to look forward to.]

office humor

Airline Safety Procedures, compliments of Airtoons.com:



















heh heh heh
office humor, flight attendant style ;-)

to those who are wondering:
no.




so lately ive been developing some rather pesky celebrity crushes.
its annoying to me, cause i know theyre just people like the rest of us, and i know a million other girls out there are probably sharing in my same sentiments.
but truly... i REALLY liked Jason Castro.
and Jim Sturgess in Across the Universe.
and now, having just seen Prince Caspian (VERY good movie, i might add), im finding myself to be quite desirous to have Ben Barnes come in and sweep me off my feet.
granted, i know hes just a normal dude...i think it was his character and the looks in his eyes that we the audience got to observe--it was THOSE things that got to me.
that, and his hair.
good gracious, thats a good head.

(i think im ready to be swept away)


speaking of good heads,
i got a trim:





(it seems im always wearing that shirt when i take pictures, doesnt it?)

its hard to tell in the pictures...its not shorter at all, just cut differently.
lots of oomphy layers up top, severely thinned layers at the bottom
not like you care....im just saying.




i think people like Little Miss Sunshine because it's "cool" to like Little Miss Sunshine.
its the indie thing to do.
same goes for...well, a lot of things, really.
with movies, its Little Miss Sunshine (was NOT impressed at all), Finding Neverland (hate it), the Garden State (eh.)
etc etc etc
tv shows... Seinfeld (its a freaking show about nothing, and it feels like it)
world issues... global warming and going "green".
yes, its good to love and take care of the earth the Lord gave us, but i'll bet you anything that more people out there are doing it because it's the "in" thing to do and because you're practically looked at like a amoral peon if you dont.
also, bands.
the Decemberists. Death Cab for Cutie. Jack Johnson and John Mayer (im sorry, but they bore me)
not a fan. but we put them on our favorites list cause our trendy friends say theyre cool and we want to be like our fellow trendy people.
blah blah blah.
(and dont get me started on Macs... unless you're a designer of some sort, you have no viable reason to blow 1500 bucks on a laptop)

i know ive said pretty much all of that before.
but its worth reiteration.


(btw, i AM entitled to my opinion. so dont get all huffy if youre a mac freak who cant afford a new pair of tennis shoes. just let it be, and dont rain on my parade.)

i am not pleased with this day.

this is the day everything breaks.
including me.
i didnt get home from work the last night (saturday) til 2am (sunday).
i had to be up at 6.
sarah on 4 hours of sleep isnt something you want to come across very often...

nothing went smoothly at church... well, i mean, some things did of course
but the kindergarten people had issues with the projector,
we had a handful of sound difficulties,
when i went to grab a microphone on stage, the cord popped off and the mic hit me in the lip
we forgot words, chords were an occasional struggle...
and my low notes were ATROCIOUS

then a woman breaks my camera on the plane.
she was reaching for her own bag in the overhead bin and inadvertently pulled mine out with it.
it tumbled the five feet to the floor, to my insurmountable despair.
i could hardly hold back the tears as i struggled to un-jam the lens cap
and observed the shattered filter underneath.
im praying thats the only thing wrong with it...
unfortunately its still gonna be a miracle if someone can get the thing OFF.
its jammed on harder than the lens cap.... :-/

oh yes, and our flight from Dulles to Chicago was also delayed 2 hours due to the lovely weather in the midwest.
my Fort Wayne flight was, in turn, canceled (because of the same weather).
so now i have to wait for the 9:20 flight and DESPERATELY hope i can somehow make it on,
even though its already booked at 54 out of 50 with 4 standbys.

i may be spending the night in the Chicago airport.
oh the joy.

i hereby reiterate my opening statement.

this just in:


come October, my airline will begin flying trips to
MOSCOW!

i dont really expect you to understand why im so excited about this.
it's ok that you don't.
im freaking ECSTATIC nonetheless!


we're also going to start flying to Dubai.
but im more excited about Russia.




bring it on.

Thrice really blows me away sometimes...

// SILVER WINGS //


From tender years you took me for granted
But still I deigned to wander through your lungs.
While you were sleeping soundly in your bed,
(Your drapes were silver wings, your shutters flung)

I drew the poison from the summer's sting,
And eased the fire out of your fevered skin.
I moved in you and stirred your soul to sing;
And if you'd let me I would move again.

I've danced 'tween sunlit strands of lover's hair;
Helped form the final words before your death.
I've pitied you and plied your sails with air;
Gave blessing when you rose upon my breath.

And after all of this I am amazed,
That I am cursed far more than I am praised.

(after all You've done for me, my Jesus....I'm amazed too.)

L I F E U P D A T E

*this is for Dr. Cook (since i know you love so much to read about my life)*

// zee job //

i havent really been anywhere of interest lately.
i had Frankfurt a few times
(i still havent bought that gnome..)
brought back german gummy bears that went over RIDICULOUSLY well with the church folks (particularly the worship team and my roommates. as ally claims "GERMAN CRACK! IT'S GERMAN CRACK!")

apart from that though, ive done several one-day turns (where you go someplace then turn right around and come back)
theyre definitely not my favorite, but they give me decent hours.
ooh but here's something interesting: i was the aft purser on our new 747 aircraft...which means i was basically the second FA in command on the biggest plane in our fleet--the big ol' double decker one you see in the movies



needless to say, that was INTENSE.
the rest of the FAs (apart from the main purser, who was only a few months senior to me) were only 3 WEEKS OUT OF TRAINING!
INSANE!!

oh and i had RET, which is my recurrent safety training that i have to pass every year
you know, simulate an emergency evacuation, open my doors & say my commands properly depending on the scenario im faced with, fire the fire extinguishers, get recertified on CPR... all that good stuff.

i passed it all.
yay.

so thats whats new on the job front.


// everything else //

as far as the rest of life goes...

i am still single (yes yes, tis true. i mean, why break tradition, ya know?)
i am 25 years old (and some change)
i have successfully moved all my schtuff into my new abode.
pictures soon to come...


i gotta admit, its slightly discouraging to realize that seemingly everyone is a photographer these days.
makes me feel very inadequate.
i am going to a lighting seminar this Sunday, though.
should (hopefully) be inspirational and motivational...(rather than intimidating.)



80's music is my current groove as of late.
the most recent mix:

// Dancing With Myself
// Heaven Is a Place On Earth
// Don't You Forget About Me
// Come On Eileen
// 99 Red Balloons
// You Spin Me Round [Like A Record]
// Walk Like An Egyptian
// Billie Jean
// Video Killed the Radio Star
// Take On Me
// Dance Hall Days
// Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
// Love Is A Battlefield
// [I Just] Died In Your Arms
// Don't You Want Me
// Hit Me With Your Best Shot
// Venus
// Show Me


brilliancy.

i did also happen to pick up Mew's Frengers album, which i am a dear, dear fan of now.
however..not so terribly impressed with the new Panic! album.
and Shiny Toy Guns...eh.



i plugged in at practice on Wednesday.
it felt SO good to play in a band again...
matt claims im going to be taking over his job soon.
HA!


ive been really caught up on American Idol lately.
i never used to watch it, but this season too many people i know have watched it in my presence, so much so that ive developed favorites and now i HAVE to watch it.
drat.
i really like Castro, but i'm a bit biased. he's cute and he loves Jesus.
thats not enough reason for him to win--though i DO like his style and sound...but i dont think enough of america is backing him.
same goes for Syesha.
Cook will probably end up on top.
and Archuleta will go sign a contract with the Disney Channel until he can successfully grow facial hair.
at least, thats how i see it.



do you ever look at the face of an ex and think: "i've kissed that"
doesn't it just weird you out?
especially if they're married now...

ugh.

waiting

then



and now



the years have definitely changed us, but most assuredly for the better.
she is and always will be one of my very favorites :-)


. . . .


do you ever feel like youre wasting your life WAITING for things?

it seems that truly, the majority of my life is spent waiting.
where i work is essentially a waiting room, if you think about it.
we're always waiting for the planes, then waiting for the passengers to get off, then waiting for them to get on, then waiting for the next flight...and we work during the "wait" from one destination to the next, then wait to land and wait to take off again....

and in life im waiting for the next move. the next job. the next task, the next door to open, the next STEP.
(because this isnt where im supposed to be forever...right, Lord..?)

and in my lack-o-love-life, im waiting for the "right" one to come along. and waiting to be ready when(/if) he does (cause im sure as heck not ready now. surprisingly.)

we wait for our mail, for the traffic light, for the next opportunity, for that second smile, for the phone to ring, for the day to be over, for our turn in the game, for results, for a chance to relax, for our turn in the grocery line, for our meals to finish cooking, for the day when we can embrace our loved ones again...

its so very very hard to WAIT.

im not really sure what my point is in all of this....
just that...im sick of waiting.
i dont want to see my life in this way.
i want to see the "waiting" as time to make things happen.
i want to SEIZE this life.
i want to ENJOY it.
waiting doesnt have to be waiting.
we trivialize it to be that, but we should instead be viewing the waiting as just another opportunity to do something else...
yes?

is this making any sense?

thoughts please.